Boundaries Are Not Betrayal 🚧
"Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others." — Brené Brown
There was a time I thought love meant availability.
That being a good friend, partner, sibling meant being "easy to reach."
I mistook silence for connection.
Let “I’m just busy” excuse their absence.
Let “you’re too sensitive” twist my instincts.
The truth?
I’d confused self-sacrifice with value.
"Boundaries are only offensive to those who benefit from you having none."
But when I started saying no, calmly, without apology, things shifted.
Some vanished.
Some got louder.
And a few stayed. The ones who never needed me to shrink to stay loved.
Turns out, boundaries don’t push away the right people.
They just reveal who never had room for the real you to begin with.
These small notes arrive quietly,
like morning light through a cracked window.
No noise. Just truth.
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Ask yourself:
“Where do I feel drained and who benefits from me staying silent about it?”
Now write one sentence.
Just one.
A statement you'd speak if you were no longer afraid of offending.
Let it be honest. Firm. Yours.
That’s where your boundary lives.
Some people only loved your compliance, not your character.
But you’re not here to be digestible.
You’re here to be whole.
And every boundary is a quiet declaration:
"I will no longer abandon myself to be understood by others."
Keep drawing the lines.
Even if your voice shakes.
Have you ever lost someone after asserting a boundary?
Or maybe found yourself in the silence that followed?
Let’s talk about that moment.
The pushback, the grief, the growth.
Because setting boundaries isn't the end of connection.
It’s the beginning of real ones.
If you’re here, you’re part of something real, something that holds space for healing without the need to perform. I don’t take that lightly.
If this space feels like home.
If it holds your ache, your becoming, your breath.
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If you think these gentle words cut deep, wait until you read Shadow Thoughts. That’s where I let the truth bleed without cleaning it up for anyone.
