The Art of Really Hearing Someone 🎭
"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply." — Stephen R. Covey
"Listening is not a passive act. It is a disciplined effort to place yourself in another’s world. Through this act of genuine attention, you demonstrate respect and create space for authentic dialogue."
Most people don’t listen.
They nod. They react.
They wait for their turn to speak.
But actually hearing someone, stepping into their experience, setting aside your assumptions, and letting their words hit you before forming a response, that’s rare.
And when it happens, it changes everything.
I remember a conversation with a friend years ago. They were pouring out something heavy, the struggles, regrets, all of it. I thought I was listening, but really, I was preparing my response. Thinking about what I would say.
Then they stopped. Looked at me. And said, “You’re not hearing me.”
That hit hard. Because they were right.
Listening isn’t about waiting your turn. It’s about stepping outside of yourself long enough to truly grasp what’s being said. It requires effort. Discipline. Humility.
And when you do it well, it creates a space where people feel safe enough to be honest.
Try this today:
Next time someone speaks, don’t interrupt. Let them finish their thought completely.
Before you respond, repeat back what they said in your own words. Something like, “So what you’re saying is…” This forces you to actually process their meaning.
Ask yourself: Am I listening to understand, or just to respond? If you’re formulating your next point before they’re done talking, you’re not really listening.
Make it a practice. Watch how it changes your relationships.
"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply." — Stephen R. Covey
Listening isn’t about waiting for silence to fill with your own words. It’s about being present enough to absorb what’s actually being said.
Have you ever felt completely heard, like someone truly understood you? Or, on the flip side, have you ever caught yourself tuning out, more focused on your own response than the other person’s words?
Let’s talk about it.
Share a moment when deep listening made a difference for you.
Most people think good communication is about speaking well.
But the real magic happens in the silence. In the spaces where you hold back your urge to reply and let someone’s words sink in.
Listening is an act of respect. A skill. A choice. And when you get it right, it doesn’t just change how people see you, it changes how they trust you.
Keep listening. Keep learning. Keep showing up.
— Ryan Puusaari
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Such a great reminder of something seemingly simple yet not programmed into our psyche.
If you're like me you might wonder 🤔 when do I give my response? Later in the day or another day? I think listening to listen gives the listener a bonus here - time to process and respond in a more meaningful way. Not know do you get the chance to truly show you're listening and making summertime feel heard but you also get a chance to respond later or when promoted for feedback, to respond from a place where you had a real chance to process from the other person's perspective.
Just imagine the depending if human connection that grows from this simple practice. Incredible.