The Cost of "I'm Fine" 💭
"You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better." — Anne Lamott
"How often do you dismiss or minimize your feelings with phrases like 'I’m fine' or 'It’s nothing'? What might change if you allowed yourself to sit with these emotions instead of pushing them aside?"
Scary, sure. But maybe, just maybe, freeing too.
You know the drill.
Someone asks how you are, and your mouth auto-fills with "I'm fine."
Maybe you even throw in a smile for good measure. But if they pried, if they really pushed, what would spill out?
I had a friend once, the kind who laughed easily, kept conversations light, and never, ever shared his struggles. He was the guy you went to when you needed a distraction, not when you needed depth.
Until one night, after a few drinks and a long silence, he admitted something:
"I've been pretending I'm fine for so long that I don't even know what I actually feel anymore."
That hit me like a freight train.
How many of us are walking around like that? Shrugging off our own pain, numbing discomfort with productivity, entertainment, or sheer avoidance—until one day, we wake up completely disconnected from ourselves?
Your emotions don’t just disappear because you refuse to acknowledge them. They linger. They fester. They morph into exhaustion, resentment, anxiety; until they claw their way out in ways you can’t control.
And, pretending you’re fine doesn’t just fool others. It fools you.
So, let’s try something different.
Today, when you feel that impulse to brush off an emotion, pause.
Don’t judge it. Don’t analyze it. Just sit with it.
Ask yourself:
What am I actually feeling right now?
If I weren’t afraid of being judged, how would I describe this feeling?
What would change if I let myself fully feel this, instead of shutting it down?
No one’s saying you need to broadcast your struggles to the world. But at the very least, be honest with yourself.
"You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better." — Anne Lamott
Feelings demand recognition. You don’t have to act on every emotion, but you do have to acknowledge them. Otherwise, they control you from the shadows.
Have you ever caught yourself saying "I'm fine" when you weren’t? What was really going on beneath the surface?
Drop a comment.
Let’s talk about the weight we carry when we minimize our feelings, and what happens when we finally face them.
Your emotions aren’t inconveniences.
They aren’t signs of weakness. They’re messages, loud, raw, honest messages, from the deepest part of you.
And ignoring them doesn’t make them go away.
So today, let’s be brave enough to listen.
— Ryan Puusaari
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I will never be able to let go of these feelings because I don't want to hurt those that I care about…