The Generosity That Starves You
“Sometimes we give so much because we are afraid to ask for anything.” — Yasmine Cheyenne
I’ve poured myself thin
until my skin felt borrowed.
I called it kindness
but it was bargaining.
Every sorry fell from me
like coins from a broken slot.
Every explanation
an attempt to keep them from leaving
while they already stood by the door.
I mistook silence for safety.
It was only the sound of my own hunger
pretending to be full.
Some nights I heard my ribs cry back.
They were the only ones listening.
“Emotional hunger doesn’t always look desperate. Sometimes it shows up as overgiving, overexplaining, over-apologizing. The fix rarely comes from others. It starts when the silence gets answered from the inside.”
Emotional hunger hides well. It rarely looks like begging. More often it appears as politeness, patience, or generosity. The body learns early that some needs drive people away. So it disguises them in behaviors that look admirable. That disguise eventually exhausts you.
When you’ve been trained to believe your worth comes from service, silence feels unbearable. You fill it with words. You fill it with offerings. You fill it with apologies. What you’re really filling is the absence of your own reassurance. That’s why it never works for long.
Healing begins when you recognize the disguise for what it is. Not shame. Not manipulation. Survival. You don’t strip the behavior away in one motion. You begin by letting the silence answer you differently. You allow quiet to stop being proof of rejection and start being space for self-acknowledgment.
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