What You Praise Might Be Killing Them

“We are only as sick as the secrets we keep.” — Anonymous

I became fluent in quiet collapses.
The kind that leave no trace on the carpet.
The kind you walk past without noticing
unless you know what to look for.

I learned to sweat through my shirt
and still hold eye contact.
To keep my voice even
when my pulse was hunting for exits.

Some days I held myself together
like a man clutching his own stitches—
not because they were healing,
but because I knew what happens when they open.

And when people said they admired my resilience,
I nodded.
Because they weren’t wrong.
They just didn’t know what it cost.

"High-functioning doesn’t mean healthy. It means the breakdown happens behind your eyes where no one sees it."

High-functioning is seductive because it earns applause. You can keep moving, keep producing, keep showing up. No one questions you when the exterior runs on time. But the body always keeps a ledger. Even when the world doesn’t ask for payment, the debt accumulates.

The truth is, breakdowns don’t wait for a socially acceptable window. They happen in your peripheral vision. At the kitchen counter, on a work call, in the shower before a night out. The more you mask them, the more you begin to mistake the mask for the face. That’s when it gets dangerous.

Healing is about learning the difference between capacity and compulsion. You can work hard without using work to outrun yourself. You can care for others without leaving yourself untended. But only if you’re willing to see what’s really driving you.

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If this hit a nerve, you’re not alone.
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