When Approval Becomes a Cage 🕊
"Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner." — Lao Tzu
I scrubbed the kitchen floor at midnight
because she once said clean corners meant love.
Knuckles raw, knees aching,
still no softness in my chest,
just the quiet sound of my own obedience.
I fed my hunger to their comfort,
called it kindness,
wore it like cologne
no one ever complimented.
Tonight I left the mop water dirty
and dared the walls to judge me.
If peace costs every yes I never meant,
I’ll pay in full.
There was a season of my life where I made myself small for the sake of someone else’s comfort.
At work, I stayed quiet when I wanted to challenge decisions.
In friendships, I laughed at jokes that hurt me.
In love, I molded myself into a softer version. Less intense, less emotional, less me. Because I thought that was easier to love.
"I deserve peace more than I desire approval."
And for a while, I was praised for it.
People said I was agreeable. Reliable. Easygoing.
But inside, I was crumbling.
Not because they were cruel.
Because I had abandoned myself in the pursuit of their affection.
See, peace doesn’t come when people approve of your mask.
It comes when you take it off, risking their rejection and choosing your truth anyway.
The turning point came quietly.
A night alone, where I realized I hadn’t made a single decision based on what I actually wanted in weeks.
My body was exhausted. My spirit was starving.
Approval had become a drug.
But peace… peace felt like oxygen.
And I knew I had to wean myself off applause and start listening to the whisper that said:
“There’s nothing wrong with who you are.”
These small notes arrive quietly,
like morning light through a cracked window.
No noise. Just truth.
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Before you agree to something this week, a favor, a project, a phone call, ask:
“Would I still say yes if no one thanked me for it?”
If the answer is no, that’s information.
You don’t owe your availability to anyone who confuses your kindness with obligation.
Peace doesn’t need to be dramatic.
It’s found in quiet no’s.
In boundaries set without guilt.
In the brave decision to stop betraying yourself for temporary approval.
You were never meant to be everything for everyone.
You were meant to be honest with yourself.
And sometimes that honesty will cost you applause.
Let it.
Because peace…
Peace is priceless.
Have you ever made yourself smaller to be more “liked”?
Have you ever said “yes” when your whole body wanted to scream “no”?
Tell me about it.
This is a space where truth matters more than polish.
You’re not alone in this.
Let’s talk about the cost of approval and the relief of choosing peace instead.
If you’re here, you’re part of something real, something that holds space for healing without the need to perform. I don’t take that lightly.
If this space feels like home.
If it holds your ache, your becoming, your breath.
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If you think these gentle words cut deep, wait until you read Shadow Thoughts. That’s where I let the truth bleed without cleaning it up for anyone.
