You Don’t Have to Perform to Be Loved 🎭
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind." — Dr. Seuss
There was a version of me that smiled at the wrong jokes.
Agreed with people just to keep peace.
Softened my edges, bit my tongue, laughed on cue.
"My authenticity attracts people who love the real me."
It wasn’t lying.
But it wasn’t living either.
It was survival dressed as politeness.
And it worked, for a while.
People liked that version of me.
But I didn’t.
That’s when I realized:
If you have to shrink to fit into a space, that space was never yours to begin with.
If people only love the curated version of you, it’s not you they love.
These small notes arrive quietly,
like morning light through a cracked window.
No noise. Just truth.
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Write down this sentence:
"I am no longer available for relationships that require me to betray myself."
Then ask yourself:
Where in my life do I water myself down?
What part of me am I still afraid to show?
What would it look like to show up as the real me, even if it’s messy?
One conversation. One truth. One risk at a time.
You don’t find your people by people-pleasing.
You find them by being honest.
And sometimes, the path to that honesty is paved with exits.
Not everyone will celebrate the real you.
But the ones who do…
They’re the ones you were pretending for in the first place.
Drop the act.
Step into truth.
You’re more than enough without the mask.
Have you ever dropped the act and shown up fully… and been met instead of judged?
Or lost someone when you finally stopped pretending?
That’s not rejection.
That’s redirection.
And it’s worthy of being named.
Share your story. Let’s normalize the beautiful chaos of becoming.
If you’re here, you’re part of something real, something that holds space for healing without the need to perform. I don’t take that lightly.
If this space feels like home.
If it holds your ache, your becoming, your breath.
Consider becoming a paid subscriber, not out of obligation, but as a gesture of shared reverence for this work.
And if a paid subscription isn’t right for you, or if you simply want to support in other ways, here are a few small gestures that carry big meaning:
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However you choose to support, whether by sharing, buying a coffee, or simply showing up… thank you. Truly.
If you think these gentle words cut deep, wait until you read Shadow Thoughts. That’s where I let the truth bleed without cleaning it up for anyone.